Stop, Look and Listen
Ξ September 4th, 2007 | → Comments Off | ∇ Christian Living, Growing In The Lord |
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When I was a kid, we learned a lot about trains. The reason for this was that we had tracks in several places in the city and kids had a tendency to ignore the signs that a train was coming. There were too many accidents. After all, trains don’t stop on a dime. In fact, they take over a mile to stop if loaded at all. Anyway, we learned the whole bit about stop, look and listen.
During prayer time today, that came back to my mind when I read the scripture in James 1:19 (as always, please read the rest of the verses around this scripture for the full understanding of it)
(Jas 1:19) Therefore, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
I can think back to arguments I have had with people in my life then and now. Most of them did not have to be arguments if only one of us had tried to listen more closely to what the other was saying. Almost all disagreements could be worked out with the simple rule of listening first and being swift to do so..not talking, especially to interrupt, which many people feel the need to do when they have a point to make, and be extremely slow to get angry over something that simply needed a little time and explanation.
First, we need to learn the art of listening. That, in itself, would change the way we live. If only we could listen to what people are saying instead of hearing what we think they said. I cannot tell you how many disagreements would not be happening if only someone would learn this. We are all guilty of this with the exception of good listeners. Those people are few and far between these days. We all fail this test at one time or another. It simply depends on what the subject is because we are all passionate about something.
When we were in school, the first thing we learned at my school was how to listen to the teacher. If we didn’t do that, we got to have what’s now called a “time out”. Then, it was simply sit in the corner. As we demonstrated the ability to listen, we didn’t have to be in the corner anymore. The point is that we learned it in kindergarten, some in first grade. Today, most kids do not understand how to listen. For some reason, that lesson got skipped.
As we grow older, one of the things that becomes evident, or at least when I was growing up, was the idea of being slow to speak. That, too, was taught early in school. If we talked in class when we were not called on, we saw the corner again. If it got bad enough, we saw the principal. Don’t get me wrong here. My parents taught these things as well but the teachers had to deal with it on a daily basis with at least 20-25 kids at a time. You tended to notice it more there.
The kids learned out in the playground the art of not getting too hot under the collar because somebody was going to teach that lesson right there. If the teacher got involved, you could count on cooling your heels in the principal’s office and calling your Mother!
So, there was a foundation of knowing these things from a young age. I really don’t know if that is taught the same way now or not. My guess is that it isn’t since it appears that things like road rage are more common than should be. It’s so easy to get angry over some small thing these days. We see it all the time on the news. Whether the reason was small or large, people get hurt and killed due to rage.
Oh, don’t get me wrong here. For those who have teens, I am well aware of how easy it is to slip into the get mad, get hot, start yelling phase of your life. But now, wait a minute. Thinking about this a bit, if you were to be fast to listen when the teen wants to use the car or wants to go on a date to a concert that you just know you don’t want them to go…if you were actually fast to listen, get the facts and consider the possibility of saying yes, what would that do for your teen?
If you were to be slow to speak, or in most cases interrupt (to say no, of course), slow to judge how you would feel about the subject, maybe faster to judge how the teen feels, what would that do for your teen? And one more. You know where I’m going with this. How about if you were really, REALLY slow to get angry, paying more attention to the teen than to your feelings for the time being, what would that do for your teen? For that matter, what would it do for your standing in your teen’s eyes?
Bear in mind that this works, not just with teens, but it also works with anyone you have to have contact with. I have learned over the years that people will respond more favorably to kindness and listening than to abrupt, heated talk or anger.
For instance, I used to get very angry with utility companies who are inhuman and have inhuman employees (or seem to). When I called them to talk about a bill I could not pay off right away, I would get snarly. So would they. There was no agreement. I lost. After a while, I learned to be nice…no matter what. I talked nicely and laughed with them. Agreements were made more favorable to me. I win.
Perhaps, we all need to stop, look and listen a bit more. Maybe if we were fast to listen, slow to speak and really slow to get upset and angry, the world might just be a better place and there might just be peace in your household. It’s worth taking the chance, isn’t it? And, oh by the way, if conditions in your home have not been ideal with your teen or other member of the family, for instance, don’t expect a sudden change just because you were willing to listen once. It takes time but that’s worth it.
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